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Thursday, October 26, 2017

Thank You!

Dear Love,
I've spent countless nights awake looking up at the stars thinking about what went wrong. Going through my pictures and saying "You couldn't have faked it at least not all of it... Or could you". There are times were I think wow I really am that stupid girl who thought she was finally gonna get her fairy tale ending. I loved you so much that I even gave up my mom for you. The fact that you knew that she would never approve our relationship and you made me believe that I was making the right choice by choosing Love. She was right about one thing and it was that you were gonna leave me with much more than a broken Heart. Everyday it is a constant battle to forget you. But how can I when you were my first? First man I chose to kiss, the first I chose to make love with, the first Love that helped me do many firsts with. By being my first I can not help but wonder why I can just be your last and you can be my one and only? According to everyone nothing happened but when I look in your eyes I see her. I can see the regret and remorse that you feel. But who would I be if I just accepted that and moved on? I would be that stupid girl who believed she wasn't good enough for something more. Always wondering why can I just forgive and forget you ask? If we're both being honest here I have forgiven you but I can't forget along with the memories we created. You always thought I had a problem with you being Black since I am "White". Your eyes couldn't see past the color of my skin to see that I am truly just a human being just like you. You always had a problem with insecurity. Whether it was because of your complexion, financial situation, and even social status. So every time you looked at me you thought I was too perfect to be with you. But I am a Mexican-American who's proud of being brown just the way your proud of being Black. I may have grown up in a whole different world than you but that never changed my feelings towards you. You saw the world in black and white... While I saw it in colors. You were so color blind to see what was really in front of you. I will forever be the girl that got away and you will be my first. Sadly there isn't much for us to talk about now. I just hope you are happy and treat the next girl like a Queen. Based on personal experience I know you will do a great job doing that. Bye now... Till next time.
With Love,
Angeles

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